For some people, competition is a vital part in self-improvement, but others can go overboard with their evaluation that it creates doubt about one’s own abilities. Is there such a thing as a healthy comparison in a world where we are constantly evaluated against the performance of other people?
Jealousy versus Self-Judgement
Comparison may be a result of envy, which can be a toxic mindset that will prevent you from appreciating the good things you have because you’re too focused on what you don’t have. You feel like the world is unfair for giving others a better life and that whatever you achieve cannot be as valuable as other people’s accomplishments. There is a difference between downgrading everything you have accomplished to using your failures and problems as motivation to improve your situation. Self-judgment can be used to improve yourself, but jealousy is unproductive and unhealthy.
Lack of Acceptance
There will always be someone better than you. Even if you keep telling yourself that people were made with equal intelligence, abilities, and skills, it’s far from the truth. You need to accept that there are people who will have a better start than you, but how you will use opportunities is what matters. If you are given the opportunity to improve yourself, it should motivate you to work twice harder than the naturally-gifted individuals you compare yourself to. Others have succeeded, so don’t ever think that you can’t. If you just grumble about how unfair life is and do nothing, then your situation will not change.
Guilt and Shame Will Not Help
Some people blame themselves for their lot in life, but doing that will not change anything. It will just make getting your self-confidence back harder because you’re already thinking that whatever you do will not make a difference. It’s impossible to feel adequate if you keep measuring yourself against others. You do not want to be trapped in such a cycle for the rest of your life. A life full of jealousy is stressful, tiresome, and suffocating. Appreciate all the good things you have and enjoy your time with family, friends, and loved ones instead of looking at them as rivals. Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect human being; even your wealthy neighbor has problems you don’t know about.
Healthy Comparisons are Possible
Comparisons cannot be avoided, but there are ways to turn these into something positive that will help you improve yourself. Instead of comparing your life unfairly to others, think instead about how far along you’ve come since you started on your journey. Ask yourself if you’re happy with your current job or your performance at school. Are you healthier now and do you still enjoy your hobbies? Have you learned new skills and are you getting closer to the goals you’ve had since you were young?